Light My Fire

Photo Courtesy of Carlos Porto

Sex is all about heat and passion.  When we're talking about great sex or chemistry between two sexual partners we often times talk about the "heat" between them.  How many times have you heard someone talk about "blazing passion" or call a past lover their "old flame"?

That's not what this is about.  We're talking about a different kind of heat in the bedroom today.  We're tlaking about flesh-searing actual fire.  When I say "light my fire", I mean that literally.  You see, some people really get off on being set on fire.  We're not talking about a human torch or actually burning a person's flesh.  That's too disturbing and highly illegal.  Fire play is all about safety and sensuality.

You can use items found at any hardware store to create your fire play extravaganza.  The first thing to create is a torch.  You can use anything from candles to Q-tips, or you can use hardware store items to create a torch.  Don't use tiki torches or anything else that requires oil or fuel to stay lit.  The oil or fuel could potentially spill on your submissive, creating a real human torch, leaving you vulnerable to murder charges.  Don't be that person!  I prefer candles.  They're nice, simple, easy to relight, and provide wax for me to drip onto my sub.  Aside from lighting someone up, you'll also need a few think towels to smother the fire and a good supply of water nearby, just in case. 

While you don't want oil spilled on your sub, you do need something to ignite.  Your basic rubbing alcohol will do the trick, but don't use it straight.  For fire play, the alcohol should be a 70/30 mix; 70% alcohol, 30% water.  The water helps keep your sub from actually being burned.  Don't get me wrong; they'll feel the heat from the fire, but you don't want to seriously injure someone.  As the saying goes, "If you play with fire, you will get burned".  If you want to spend a little more money on your fuel, you can use vodka, Jack Daniels, or any other alcoholic beverage.  Don't get all crazy and just pour it on.  The point of fire play is to control your fire like you control your submissive.  You don't actually even have to apply the fuel to your submissive.  That's where the torches come in handy. 

There's a lot of things to do with fire, but before you begin, make sure your sub have their hair pulled back and covered.  It may help to wet it down as well.  You don't want to turn your sub into Michael Jackson.  It also helps to have an assistant to help put out any fires.  

Most of the time, some warm-up activities are in order.  You can light Q-tips and run them up and down your sub's skin, touch them with lit candles, or draw small trails in alcohol and light these.  Keep it small and simple and work your way up. 

Now you have two directions to go with your fire: hit or ignite.  You can light the torches and beat your sub with them, or you can draw a design on their back and ignite it.  Let's go with beating first.  There are some fun things that can be done with weapons.  You can ignite just about anything.  Most things will be destroyed by the fire, but some can take the heat.  Kevlar paddles or floggers are great for fire play.  You can put on a great show by dimming the lights, dipping them in your alcohol solution, and beating your sub. 

Igniting your sub can be a lot of fun and wow any audience you might have.  Stand your sub up for this, possibly even tying up their hands.  Drawinng intricate patterns on your sub's back then watching the flames race across their skin can be an insanely erotic experience.  The flames should only burn a mere two or three seconds at the most.  Smother the flames with the towel so your sub doesn't get burnt.  Fire play doesn't have to end there.  You can even push your thumb into a wax ball to create a little bowl.  Have your sub lay down and place the wax bowl on their back.  Fill it with the alcohol solution and ignite.  As the alcohol burns, the wax will melt down over them.  Keep your bowl small so that the alcohol will burn up quickly so as not to create a real fire.

Have fun and explore the many ways you can bring erotic fire play into your sex life.  Above all, remember to always keep your BDSM safe, sane, and consensual.  If your sub doesn't consent to the act, then the act becomes torture.  Good luck and be safe!

Who Wants a Little Spanking?

A Guide to BSDM for Beginners

Sadism and Masochism, commonly referred to as S&M are actually psychiatric terms that, while used in sex lingo, don't actually fit.  You see, those freaky doctors everyone has heard about at German concentration camps...they are sadists.  Sadits are people who enjoy the pain of others.  Masochists are, quite basically, people who enjoy pain.

There are notes of S&M in what most people consider everyday sex.  Your man pulled your hair while hittin it doggy-style, smacking you ass every now and then.  You've just dabbled in a little S&M. 

There's more to sexual sadism and masochism than a little hair-pulling ass-slapping doggy-style.  S&M is often lumped into one big category of kink called BSDM that includes bondage, sadism, masochism, and dominance/submission.  Not all of these fit into one category, but they overlap often enough that it's a lot easier.  Real sadists enjoy any form of pain and don't need the consent of the victim just like real masochists enjoy any kind of pain, including injuries and such.  S&M requires the consent of the victim and the ability of the sadists to accept and adhere to boundaries.

In S&M relationships, the power may appear to be held by the sadist who is usually the dominant (dom).  This isn't really the case.  The enjoyment of the sexual experience for both partners depends on the dom getting the reaction they want from the submissive (sub) within the limits generally set by the sub.  Whoever makes the rules holds the real power.  The sub could quite easily not give the dom the reaction they crave.  What fun is the game when the mouse won't play?  Now that we've made it through your grammer lesson, let's move on to the fun stuff.

When you're just delving into the mysterious world of S&M, it's easiest to do so with a person whom you trust not to cross your boundaries.  Even if you're an experienced player in the S&M game, limits should always be discussed and a safe word set.  Once the sub utters the safe word, the game stops.  Your safe word should be something that wouldn't normally be spoken during sexplay such as walrus...unless your dom likes to call you a fat walrus.  In that case, perhaps "sexy bunny" would work better.

This is where the BSDM overlap comes in.  If you're going to be tied up and whipped you're probably going to want to start with something that doesn't leave a mark like silk rope or fuzzy handcuffs.  Remember to struggle a bit when you dom is restraining you so they ahve a reason to punish you for being bad!  You can work your way up to harnesses or bondage tape.  There are tons of ways to be restrained.  I love to wear a collar with leash and be spanked in front of an audience.  A collar is supposed to be a form of humiliation or dominance used by the sadist/dom.  Some women like being collared.  Some don't.  If you don't like to wear a collar make this clear when setting your limits.  Make sure you don't tighten the collar enough to cut off your air-supply.  Sexual asphyxiation can be a very dangerous practice.  Don't use a collar to do it.  The skin around the collar may swell making it next to impossible to get off and you will suffocate. 

On that note, a word of caution:  NEVER CHOKE YOURSELF IN PRIVATE!  This can and WILL lead to unintentional death.  If that's the ONLY way you can get off it's time for massive therapy.

Just like there are tons of ways to be restrained, there are tons of things to be whipped with.  You can use everything from a wooden paddle to a cat-o-nine.  The selection of tools is another thing to discuss when setting limits.  If you don't want marks left behind, make this clear.  If you like being spanked with wooden paddles, consider drilling holes in it.  It'll hurt more.  There are some wonderful paddles out there made of various materials, some solid, with holes, or even with rivets (some of my favorites).  You'll have to do a lot of experimenting to figure out your S&M style.  Most experienced S&Mers have their favorite tools.

Aside from being restrained and beaten there are lots of fun activities that come with S&M.  Name-calling and humiliation is a favorite.  A dom wants to treat their sub like a little cum dumpster.  They want to force you to your knees while they shove their dick down your throat or make you lick their toes.  While working the S&M stage at a favorite Ohio goth club, I made men crawl on their knees to suck and lick the harriest toes I could find.  Forcing your will on the other person is part of the fun and can be sexually liberating.

Playing the submissive or masochistic one night doesn't mean you can't be the dom the next.  Taking both roles will allow you to feel empowered and sexually liberated.  It also ensures your partner won't continually cross your boundaries because they know they will have to endure your wrath the next night.  Completely explore both roles to discover and develop your sexuality, but above all always enjoy safe, sane, and consensual sex.  Regardless of the game you're playing, abide by the limits and don't get so wrapped up in your role you can't pull back when you need to.

My last and most important tip for both beginngers and the more experienced:  keep in mind that you will still be held criminally liable should you force non-consensual sex on another person, just as you will be if your actions result in your partner's death.  Always use protection and always abide by the rules of the game!  Rape is NEVER a game. 

All Strung Out

Bondage, unfortunately, tends to be a dirty word in most relationships.  Most couples are afraid of giving up all control to their partner.  When a person thinks of bondage they usually think of some woman in leather tying them up, ball gag and all.  Bondage doesn't have to be this extreme and it doesn't have to be a scary experience.  If you trust him or her to care for you in other areas of your life, trusting them in the bedroom shouldn't be a far stretch.  Bondage can be a liberating experience whether you're usually in control or a little more meek. 

If you've never experienced bondage before there are lots of books out there to help you on your path to satisfaction.  Among my favorites is Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes.  This book shows you everything from the various knots you can tie to different forms of bondage you can explore.  The bondage experience can be as hardcore or sensual as you like.

My first bondage experience was on my best friend's livingroom floor.  She used silk scarves to blindfold me then tie my wrists and ankles to various pieces of furniture, leaving me spread-eagle and open for anything.  Several men and women present then touched me, kissed me, licked my dripping wet pussy, and explored my body.  I had no idea who was sucking my nipples or who had their fingers up me making me cum again and again.  When they were done teasing and tantalizing me, my boyfriend (at the time) flipped me over, grabbed my hair and fucked me doggy-style while everyone watched. 

Few first-time bondage experiences are quite like this, but they can be just as pleasurable.  I advocate using silk ropes for the inexperienced because they don't leave marks and are easier to wriggle out of.  Always use a code word with your partner that wouldn't normally be heard during sex, like "walrus".  When the code word is spoken, everything stops, regardless of how into it you are or how close to orgasm.  Set your ground rules before you head to the bedroom.  Is there an offlimits area?  Are you allowed to bring others into the bedroom?  Do you enjoy a little spanking or is that something you would rather build up to?  Make sure the rules are clear.

When you have your ground rules down and your code word set, anything goes.  Release your inhibitions and let go of all control.  If you're in charge, tease your partner.  Blindfold them so they don't know what is coming next.  Try out new toys.  Bring them right to the edge, then cool it down.  Trace ice over their body and follow it with your mouth.  Be creative. 

As you both learn more and become more comfortable with bondage in the bedroom, try new things.  Anal could be something fun to incorporate, but should be explored before you mix it with bondage.  Both are more difficult sexual techniques to use so that you can get used to it first. 

If you're interested in adding another person to the experience, be sure your partner is actually willing first.  You should never feel pressured to try anything you don't want to do, nor should you pressure anyone else.  Sex should be liberating and pleasurable, not intimidating and frightening. 

Now that you have the basics get in the bedroom and liven things up.  Don't forget to tell all of my horny sluts here how your first bondage experience went!

Defining the Great Question of the Decade

As I peruse the aisles of the video store, in the "porno room", of course, I notice one thing every female porn star has in common.  Aside from fantastically fake, perky breasts, they're all shaved.  I mean, a hairy puss has become something of a rare historical item or a horrific creature that pops out of 70's porn grinding to "bow-chica bow-wow".  Such was my first experience with pronography and my first glimpse of Ron Jeremy.  Now that was soemthing scary!

I was spending the night at a friend's house.  We had asked to watch a movie in her mother's room while her mother went out for the evening.  No sooner had the door shut than my friend slid her eyes over to me with one corner of her mouth turned up in a devious grin, saying "You have to see this".  In popped a VHS and twangy music with a wild, driving beat came out of the television.  We spent the night squealing in laughter at Sasquatch getting it on with Farrah wannabes. 

My next experience with pubic hair wasn't as funny, but I enjoyed it quite a bit more.  My boyfriend had mentioned he liked his women shaved.  Being naive, I thought he meant legs.  He took me into the bedroom, stripped me, and shaved me.  Then he spent the night licking and fingering my tight little pussy.  That was the night I discovered the power a shaved pussy has over a man. 

Just the words "I'm shaved" make a man fall to his knees begging to touch it, or even just to see it.  They become willing sex slaves and I can make them do anything to me I want.  As wonderful as a shaved pussy looks, some men feel a little dirty playing with one because they believe it makes a woman look pubescent.  Never mind the fully developed, more-than-a-mouthful breasts they worship.  Really, very few men feel this way. 

Women aren't the only ones that shave.  Some men like a little trim around the trunk, but I prefer the ones that shave it all.  Let's be honest here, a man's balls don't smell that great.  Shaving helps get rid of the sweaty ball smell.  I love wrapping my lips around a shaved cock, sliding up and down, licking balls.  Who wants hair in their food? 

The verdict is, a shaved cock or puss is much tastier than a hairy one.  It's easier to keep clean, smells better, tastes better, and is more likely to get oral action. 

So, how do you begin if you've never shaved?  The first step is to trim the hair with scissors.  Be careful not to cut yourself!  Once you've trimmed the hair as close as possible, slather on shave gel, sit on the edge of the tub, spread your legs and shave.  It's easiest to pull the lips to the other side to get a close shave.  Once you've gotten a little more brave, go into the spa or salon for a Brazilian.  Make sure you keep it up.  It's a total turn off to have prickly genitals shoved into your ass or rubbed against your face. 

Good luck and good fucks!

Public Nudity

So, what is everyone's take on this subject? My opinion is, as long as there are no children or cops around, go for it! I'm telling you, ladies, guys love to walk through a store, glance down the aisle, and see a woman bending over in a skirt, showing her goodies. I was at the grocery store this past week and saw just that. This woman was bent over, getting something off the bottom shelf. You could see everything: no panties, just ass and pussy hanging out. It was fucking awesome. I just happened to have my camera with me to get a good shot of the nice pussy.

My suggestion to you guys out there is: always keep you camera with you, just in case. It does pay off. Ladies, don't be shy! Guys love getting a peek. It really turns a guy on to know you want to show off your goodies. Just make sure you get permission before you post anyone else's pictures. This lady was happy to give her permission to post this shot on our website!

Public Display of Cock

I love being fucked like the little slut I am wherever the mood strikes me.  I have a list of the places I've had a cock shoved up me ranging from the typical KMart dressing rooms to some rather "sacred" places.  Public sex is a huge debate.  Is it an orgasmic adventure or is it too tacky?

There are a lot of things to consider before you go off and fuck somewhere you could be caught.  Sex isn't worth getting arrested for, so be careful!  You should also skip the places where you find a lot of kids.  Exposing yourself to children is definitely taking it too far.  Aside from those considerations, I say let it out!

Weigh in.  Do you think public sex is fun or tacky?  Where is your favorite place to fuck?

I love getting my daily dose of rock hard cock at the river.  There's a bench for me to sit on while I have a face shoved in my pussy or bend over while I have cock rammed up my ass.  Fishermen hang out in their boats to watch.  I do love an audience!

Flipping the Red Light On

I love sex.  Really, I'm addicted.  I just can't get enough cock and I love to add a hint of danger to it.  I'm the kind of girl that will spread my legs and beg for cum just about anywhere.  I've been around.  I love to be bent over with a rock hard cock slammed into my slippery pussy while getting my ass slapped and my hair pulled. 

So many people think sex is something to hide. It's not, though. It's ok to be a raging slut, so I'm flipping the red light on.  I'd like to hear how you like it or see you getting down and dirty.  You must be 18 to post pics.  Don't be one of those jackasses that post pics of another person without their permission.  I'd prefer pics that don't show the face so there are no regrets on down the road.  Have fun.  Feel free to slip on in and relieve yourself.