Don't Be Shy

Sex isn't meant to be a lonely adventure. It's meant to be shared. I love to hear from my horny followers and guests, so please leave a comment. You can even comment anonymously if you like.

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Light My Fire

Photo Courtesy of Carlos Porto

Sex is all about heat and passion.  When we're talking about great sex or chemistry between two sexual partners we often times talk about the "heat" between them.  How many times have you heard someone talk about "blazing passion" or call a past lover their "old flame"?

That's not what this is about.  We're talking about a different kind of heat in the bedroom today.  We're tlaking about flesh-searing actual fire.  When I say "light my fire", I mean that literally.  You see, some people really get off on being set on fire.  We're not talking about a human torch or actually burning a person's flesh.  That's too disturbing and highly illegal.  Fire play is all about safety and sensuality.

You can use items found at any hardware store to create your fire play extravaganza.  The first thing to create is a torch.  You can use anything from candles to Q-tips, or you can use hardware store items to create a torch.  Don't use tiki torches or anything else that requires oil or fuel to stay lit.  The oil or fuel could potentially spill on your submissive, creating a real human torch, leaving you vulnerable to murder charges.  Don't be that person!  I prefer candles.  They're nice, simple, easy to relight, and provide wax for me to drip onto my sub.  Aside from lighting someone up, you'll also need a few think towels to smother the fire and a good supply of water nearby, just in case. 

While you don't want oil spilled on your sub, you do need something to ignite.  Your basic rubbing alcohol will do the trick, but don't use it straight.  For fire play, the alcohol should be a 70/30 mix; 70% alcohol, 30% water.  The water helps keep your sub from actually being burned.  Don't get me wrong; they'll feel the heat from the fire, but you don't want to seriously injure someone.  As the saying goes, "If you play with fire, you will get burned".  If you want to spend a little more money on your fuel, you can use vodka, Jack Daniels, or any other alcoholic beverage.  Don't get all crazy and just pour it on.  The point of fire play is to control your fire like you control your submissive.  You don't actually even have to apply the fuel to your submissive.  That's where the torches come in handy. 

There's a lot of things to do with fire, but before you begin, make sure your sub have their hair pulled back and covered.  It may help to wet it down as well.  You don't want to turn your sub into Michael Jackson.  It also helps to have an assistant to help put out any fires.  

Most of the time, some warm-up activities are in order.  You can light Q-tips and run them up and down your sub's skin, touch them with lit candles, or draw small trails in alcohol and light these.  Keep it small and simple and work your way up. 

Now you have two directions to go with your fire: hit or ignite.  You can light the torches and beat your sub with them, or you can draw a design on their back and ignite it.  Let's go with beating first.  There are some fun things that can be done with weapons.  You can ignite just about anything.  Most things will be destroyed by the fire, but some can take the heat.  Kevlar paddles or floggers are great for fire play.  You can put on a great show by dimming the lights, dipping them in your alcohol solution, and beating your sub. 

Igniting your sub can be a lot of fun and wow any audience you might have.  Stand your sub up for this, possibly even tying up their hands.  Drawinng intricate patterns on your sub's back then watching the flames race across their skin can be an insanely erotic experience.  The flames should only burn a mere two or three seconds at the most.  Smother the flames with the towel so your sub doesn't get burnt.  Fire play doesn't have to end there.  You can even push your thumb into a wax ball to create a little bowl.  Have your sub lay down and place the wax bowl on their back.  Fill it with the alcohol solution and ignite.  As the alcohol burns, the wax will melt down over them.  Keep your bowl small so that the alcohol will burn up quickly so as not to create a real fire.

Have fun and explore the many ways you can bring erotic fire play into your sex life.  Above all, remember to always keep your BDSM safe, sane, and consensual.  If your sub doesn't consent to the act, then the act becomes torture.  Good luck and be safe!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Hey my Sluts, tomorrow we'll turn the kink up a notch. I promise it'll be my hottest post ever!

Sex Around the World

In some places, sex just isn't the way it is in the good ol USofA.  In America we have a puritanical history that makes sex out to be something bad and shameful that should be hidden.  Men can't get enough of it and women use sex to feel powerful and liberated.  Unfortunately, only 48% of us say we are satisfied with our sex life. 

What about sex in Italy?  Italians are well-known for romance. One pole claims Italians have sex an average of 121 times a year second only to Greeks who get it on a whopping 164 times.  Paris isn't the City of Love anymore!  If you're looking to get laid in Italy, check out the merchandise before you make your move at one of the many nude beaches scattered throughout the country. 

Nigeria is the most sexually satisfied nation, with 87% of respondents claiming they are satisfied with their sex life.  Considering only 53% of Nigerians are getting laid on a weekly basis, quality is more important than quantity.  53% of Americans are having sex every week too, so we're not getting laid and we're not satisfied when we do get laid.  Why even bother?  Let's move to Nigeria!

So, if Americans aren't getting laid, what are they doing?  According to the Sexual Well-Being Survey done by Durex, while 84% of women enjoy vaginal sex, only 18% enjoy anal.  I'm not sure the survey is really all that accurate, though.  Only 56% of straight men and 55% of straight women say they enjoy receiving oral sex and only 56% of straight men say they enjoy looking at porn.  Next time make sure your girlfriend isn't looking over your shoulder when you take a sex survey!

What do women enjoy, aside from your basic sex?  52% like wearing sexy underwear, 56% of them like sucking dick and 45% enjoy sexual fantasies.  Look at it this way, guys: you have a better than 50/50 chance of getting a blow job when you hook up with a woman!  Only 5% of women claim they enjoy bondage or S&M, though.  That's like finding a needle in a haystack. 

Now that you're armed with a little knowledge, go out and buy your woman some sexy underwear before you ask her to suck your dick!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

If you're going to use a paddle on your bitch, only use it on the ass. A paddle can do a lot of damage on the torso-- front or back.

Spit or Swallow: Calorie Counting

Did you hear?  Semen has tons of protein, so it's really good for you!

Actually, that is a common misconception, mostly proliferated by horny men who want a woman to swallow.  According to Columbia University Health Services, the amount of a man's ejaculate is, on average, only a teaspoon.  This varies by age with younger men having higher volumes, but not by much. 

Now the real question.  Is semen loaded with protein or high in calories?  The answer in both cases is no.  He's feeding you a line of bullshit because he wants to cum in your mouth!  An average ejaculate has a miniscule  5 to 7 calories and contains 200 to 500 million sperm, which only account for 1% of the content.

So what is semen really made of?   Fructose sugar, water, ascorbic acid, citric acid, enzymes, protein, phosphate and bicarbonate buffers, and last but not least, zinc.  Unless you're swallowing gallons of it a day like Goth Girl, semen will never contain enough nutrients to affect your diet.

The moral of the story:  Go Forth and Swallow, My Sluts!

Who Wants a Little Spanking?

A Guide to BSDM for Beginners

Sadism and Masochism, commonly referred to as S&M are actually psychiatric terms that, while used in sex lingo, don't actually fit.  You see, those freaky doctors everyone has heard about at German concentration camps...they are sadists.  Sadits are people who enjoy the pain of others.  Masochists are, quite basically, people who enjoy pain.

There are notes of S&M in what most people consider everyday sex.  Your man pulled your hair while hittin it doggy-style, smacking you ass every now and then.  You've just dabbled in a little S&M. 

There's more to sexual sadism and masochism than a little hair-pulling ass-slapping doggy-style.  S&M is often lumped into one big category of kink called BSDM that includes bondage, sadism, masochism, and dominance/submission.  Not all of these fit into one category, but they overlap often enough that it's a lot easier.  Real sadists enjoy any form of pain and don't need the consent of the victim just like real masochists enjoy any kind of pain, including injuries and such.  S&M requires the consent of the victim and the ability of the sadists to accept and adhere to boundaries.

In S&M relationships, the power may appear to be held by the sadist who is usually the dominant (dom).  This isn't really the case.  The enjoyment of the sexual experience for both partners depends on the dom getting the reaction they want from the submissive (sub) within the limits generally set by the sub.  Whoever makes the rules holds the real power.  The sub could quite easily not give the dom the reaction they crave.  What fun is the game when the mouse won't play?  Now that we've made it through your grammer lesson, let's move on to the fun stuff.

When you're just delving into the mysterious world of S&M, it's easiest to do so with a person whom you trust not to cross your boundaries.  Even if you're an experienced player in the S&M game, limits should always be discussed and a safe word set.  Once the sub utters the safe word, the game stops.  Your safe word should be something that wouldn't normally be spoken during sexplay such as walrus...unless your dom likes to call you a fat walrus.  In that case, perhaps "sexy bunny" would work better.

This is where the BSDM overlap comes in.  If you're going to be tied up and whipped you're probably going to want to start with something that doesn't leave a mark like silk rope or fuzzy handcuffs.  Remember to struggle a bit when you dom is restraining you so they ahve a reason to punish you for being bad!  You can work your way up to harnesses or bondage tape.  There are tons of ways to be restrained.  I love to wear a collar with leash and be spanked in front of an audience.  A collar is supposed to be a form of humiliation or dominance used by the sadist/dom.  Some women like being collared.  Some don't.  If you don't like to wear a collar make this clear when setting your limits.  Make sure you don't tighten the collar enough to cut off your air-supply.  Sexual asphyxiation can be a very dangerous practice.  Don't use a collar to do it.  The skin around the collar may swell making it next to impossible to get off and you will suffocate. 

On that note, a word of caution:  NEVER CHOKE YOURSELF IN PRIVATE!  This can and WILL lead to unintentional death.  If that's the ONLY way you can get off it's time for massive therapy.

Just like there are tons of ways to be restrained, there are tons of things to be whipped with.  You can use everything from a wooden paddle to a cat-o-nine.  The selection of tools is another thing to discuss when setting limits.  If you don't want marks left behind, make this clear.  If you like being spanked with wooden paddles, consider drilling holes in it.  It'll hurt more.  There are some wonderful paddles out there made of various materials, some solid, with holes, or even with rivets (some of my favorites).  You'll have to do a lot of experimenting to figure out your S&M style.  Most experienced S&Mers have their favorite tools.

Aside from being restrained and beaten there are lots of fun activities that come with S&M.  Name-calling and humiliation is a favorite.  A dom wants to treat their sub like a little cum dumpster.  They want to force you to your knees while they shove their dick down your throat or make you lick their toes.  While working the S&M stage at a favorite Ohio goth club, I made men crawl on their knees to suck and lick the harriest toes I could find.  Forcing your will on the other person is part of the fun and can be sexually liberating.

Playing the submissive or masochistic one night doesn't mean you can't be the dom the next.  Taking both roles will allow you to feel empowered and sexually liberated.  It also ensures your partner won't continually cross your boundaries because they know they will have to endure your wrath the next night.  Completely explore both roles to discover and develop your sexuality, but above all always enjoy safe, sane, and consensual sex.  Regardless of the game you're playing, abide by the limits and don't get so wrapped up in your role you can't pull back when you need to.

My last and most important tip for both beginngers and the more experienced:  keep in mind that you will still be held criminally liable should you force non-consensual sex on another person, just as you will be if your actions result in your partner's death.  Always use protection and always abide by the rules of the game!  Rape is NEVER a game. 

Monday, February 15, 2010

Keep Her Legs Spread

Now that you've managed to open the gates of heaven (read "her legs"), you're going to be hard pressed to keep them open.  You can't just wedge a chair in there to keep the door open.  So how do you keep the sex coming now that you have it started?

Randomly buy her little gifts, like pink fuzzy handcuffs.  Let her feel empowered by letting her use them on you first.  Or just handcuff yourself and tell her you're hers for the night to do with as she pleases. 

The key to opening a woman up to increasingly kinky sexual experiences, and increasing the frequency of those sexual experiences is to let her explore.  As your woman explores her own sexuality in a way that makes her feel safe and empowered, she will be more willing to try new things.  Don't attempt to make her feel safe and comfortable in her exploration by constantly asking her "are you ok?"  She'll get pissed off and be done with it.  That's annoying.  Instead, make sex a fun adventure for the two of you.  Let her know it's ok to laugh and have fun in bed together. 

While it's a lot of fun to explore new sexual frontiers together, don't make every sex session about kink.  Mix it up.  She wants slow and sensual too.  Don't forget about quickies and lewd acts in dressing rooms!  These should be a staple of every sex life.  

What new frontiers are there to explore?  There's bondage, S&M, DPs, Three-somes, tons of things!  Take a page out of my Valentine's Day Book:  invite a group of like minded friends over for a "dinner" party.  Some of you will dine and others will be the "plates".  The plates lie naked on a table, counter, or the floor and are covered in foods and sauces.  Everyone else eats off of them, hands free.  Pussy gets licked, dicks get sucked and everyone fucks.  For those of you who aren't quite that adventurous, make your woman the dessert plate.  Paint her body with puddings and creams then lick it off. 

If you can't quite get your woman to give you anal, try some anal beads.  Lube them up, poke them in and pull them out one by one as you fuck her.  She'll love the extra stimulation and will get used to having something in her backdoor.  When she realizes she enjoys that she'll be more likely to take the next step on your anal exploration.

Please keep in mind the fact that anal can be painful if it isn't done right, especially on an inexperienced ass.  You need to remember to take it slow while using a lot of lubrication.  Avoid the warming gels when she's just getting used to something up her ass.  Those will just make your woman more sensitive to sensation.  When you're just starting out that's a bad thing because that means more sensitive to pain as well.  Remind her to breathe and relax.  If she starts to tighten up or hurt, stop what you're doing, have her take a few deep breaths.  Have her imagine her asshole opening up to your cock.  This visual really helps open a woman up.

If you have the cash to spend before you try anal sex with your woman, buy an Anal Training Kit.  It comes with butt plugs in various sizes and a vibrator.  You can lube these up and slide one in while you fuck her.  Work your way up to larger sizes.  The beauty of this method is that you're training her for both anal sex and double penetration. 

Double penetration, for those that don't know, is having a cock in both the pussy and the ass.  It's good fun for everyone.  When she can take the largest butt plug and your thick cock, she's ready to ride one man in a reverse cowgirl while another fucks that tight little pussy.  Now, I know not everyone is into taking on two men at a's a shame...but you can still enjoy double penetration (DP).  Grab yourself a Nass-walk Double Penetrator Cockring Purple, which slides onto your cock so you can give it to her in both holes at the same time. 

Anal isn't the only frontier left to be explored, but I cover it extensively because it is a fantasy of so many men and so few have ever scaled this mountain.  Anal sex is a greta place to start.  Once a woman has let you in the backdoor, it's easier for both of you to try new things.  Grab yourselves a Fetish Fantasy Bag and go crazy playing with the toys, whips, cuffs, harnesses and more.  You can get as rough as you want, or you can just tease and titillate your partner.  By all means, have fun in the bedroom and don't forget to write in to share your sexual exploits with a Kinky Slut like me!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Suck My Dick Bitches!

Let's be real here.  Every man loves having his dick sucked.  If he says he's not into that, he's feeding you a line of bullshit so he can at least get laid.  Most women just stick the hard cock in their mouth and bob up and down.  There's a lot more to fellatio than that and there are tons of fun little twists you can throw in to blow his mind. 

Wrapping your lips around his cock will never be enough.  You have to actually suck.  Take it down as far as you can (and men, you'd better at least be trimmed!), sucking it into your mouth, releasing it only grudgingly.  Keep the pressure up as you slide you mouth to the tip of his penis.  Slide your mouth up and down, sucking while you keep a good, constant pace that isn't racing to the finish, but isn't too slow either.  Men prefer a bit of a faster pace, but you want to give him time to enjoy your new found talent.  If you aren't experienced, Angel's Pleasure Principles: The Ultimate Art of Fellatio, Vol. 1 is a great place to start learning.  Watching a DVD helps you see exactly what you need to be doing.  Make sure you get his dick nice and wet so your mouth just slides easily over it. 

Just sucking isn't enough.  You can't bob up and down on his rod while your tongue lays like a dead seal in your mouth.  Use that tongue!  Lick and lap at his dick like it's a treat.  Swirl your tongue around and flick it over his shaft as you suck and bob up and down.  I know, I know...two things at once, but seriously, women are known for multitasking.  I'm sure you can suck, bob, and lick at the same time.  Say "daga" to yourself over and over really fast.  The back of your tongue hits the roof of your mouth, then the tip flicks it in very fast succession.  When you get really good with your tongue, you can try this with your man. 

But wait!  There's more!  If you want your cock sucking skills to be a 20 on a 10 scale, you have to use your hands too.  Wrap your hand around the base of his (by now) rock hard cock and slide your hand up and down in time with your mouth.  Twist your hand a little as you slide it up and down to offer extra stimulation.  You want to make sure his dick is good and wet.  Use a little flavored lube if you need to.  You have to remember that a man's penis is packed with nerve endings.  If he's dry or sticky rather than wet, you'll pull on that delicate skin and hurt him.  A good way to avoid this is to get yourself a pair of satin gloves.  The smooth, cool satin will offer a new sensation for your man that he's sure to love.  Surprise him with different, but soft, textures like cashmere and chenile. 

There are a lot more variations on fellatio you can explore.  Food is always fun to play with in the bedroom.  Use whipped cream, chocolate or caramel sauce, and a cherry to dress his dick up like a sundae.  Avoid the ice cream, unless you want his balls to retreat into his stomach and his dick to stay flacid!  Lick the toppings off before you go at it.  Moan while you go down on him so he knows you're enjoying it.  The more into the act you are, the better it will feel for him.  The vibrations from the noises you're making will drive him wild!  Extreme Fellatio is a great DVD that will give you tons of ideas and will demonstrate more advanced skills that will make you unforgettable.

It may sound silly, but if you're inexperienced it's a good idea to practice.  Being a big fan of free sexual expression, I'm all for practicing on men, and lots of them.  If that's not an option for you, practice on a banana.  Always remember to practice safe sex! 

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The verdict is in: a lot of men love it a woman grazes her teeth across his dick when she's sucking it. Ask first, Ladies! Not all men are into it.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Get Oral About It

I can honestly say there isn't a man on earth that doesn't love having their dick sucked.  Some oral fantasies lean more toward the romantic erotic, like getting a blow job from a woman wearing dark red lipstick.  Others want things like deep throating and fucking her face.  Either way, the spit or swallow issue will inevitably come up.

If you want your dick in a woman's mouth there are a few tips that will help.  First and foremost, don't ask for it.  If you go begging for a BJ chances are, you're going to be left wanting.  Your woman will be more into it if you let her arrive there on her own.  Never, ever shove your dick in her face and tell her to suck it.  If you want to push her in the right direction, go down on her first.

Once a woman heads downtown, don't grab her head.  Women hate that.  I know, I know... you like to direct the action.  The problem is, directing the action isn't going to get you more action.   The more turned on she is, the better your blowjob will be.  Get your chickie good and horny, but delay fucking her until she takes it.  That gives her ample opportunity to slob your knob.

If your woman is on the inexperienced side you should talk about oral sex outside of the bedroom.  A car ride is a great place to start.  Begin by telling her that you want her to tell you what she likes when you're going down on her.  You want some direction so you can please her.  Then ask her if she would feel comfortable with you giving a little direction when she's going down on you.  Next, ask her if there's anything she likes having done to her when she's receiving oral.  Smile, wink and tell her you intend to spend hours perfecting your oral technique, can she handle that?

When it comes to the spit or swallow issue, a lot of personal preferrance plays into it.  For the majority of men, they don't care what you do with the cum after they've filled your face with it.  Spit, swallow, who cares?  Just let them take a nap and recharge the batteries for round two! 

What if you're really turned on when a woman swallows your load?  The key to making this happen is to tell her how hot it is and make it a pleasant experience for her.  If you haven't ejaculated in a few days, don't cum in her mouth and expect her to swallow it.  The poor girl might drown in all that jizz!  You also have to make it taste good. 

Yes.  I said make it taste GOOD.  What you eat affects the taste of your cum.  No woman wants to swallow overly bitter or salty jizz!  The key to yummy cum is to eat pineapple and avoid salty foods.  It'll be good for you inside and out!  If you can't eat pineapple, drink some pineapple juice.  Trust me, she'll beg for more.

The last piece of the puzzle is to educate yourself.  If you want her crazy horny so she'll do just about anything you want, learn proper oral technique yourself.  "The Lick By Lick Guide to Mouthwatering and Orgasmic Oral Sex" is one of the best instruction books on the market.  Order your own copy for less than $10 from Amazon and Bon Apetite!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I Wanna Be Your Cum Dumpster

Do you even care what she does with your jizz after she sucks you off?  Tomorrow we'll debate Spit or Swallow, ways to make it easier, and how to get your girlfriend to let you cum in her mouth. 

I'll also share some of my favorite free vids of horny sluts sucking cock and taking a face full of cum. 

Get Laid on V-Day

It has come to my attention that some of my horny sluts aren't going to get laid on Valentine's Day.  Before we delve into the war plans, let's laugh at the history of the Day of Love.  Valentine's Day has it's own mysteries.  Some believe the tradition began with St. Valentine, marrying couples in secret.  Others point to the pagan holiday "Lupercalia" and other similar fertility traditions.  Long ago, when celebrating fertility holidays, all the young women in a village would sneak out at night to fuck like bunnies.  This is also a common way to celebrate Beltane, or May Day. 

Today, we celebrate by catering to the women in our lives.  Men buy candy, jewelry, and flowers by the truckloads in the hopes that the gates of heaven, aka her legs, will open wide and allow the men to worship there for one night.  While I enjoy a nice, raunchy romp, not all women are so easy.  Right about now, you're probably scratching your head, caveman-like, grunting and asking yourself, "how do get her to fuck me, then?"  It's a lot easier than one might think and it begins long before Valentine's Day arrives.

If you have a woman, but you aren't getting any action, she probably isn't feeling like the sexy goddess she is.  Men don't compliment women near as often as they should.  She needs to feel as if you worship her sexy body and all its imperfections, but you don't want to go over the top demonstrating your desire.  "Baby, come fuck me" only works on easy sluts like me.  Your first step is to walk up behind your woman while she's cooking dinner and slide your hands around her hips, wrapping your arms around her as you bend down to tell her how sexy her butt looks in those jeans.  Plant a sensual little kiss right her jaw, just below her ear.  If you go straight for the ear or where the neck meets the shoulders she's going to think you want to go straight to the sex. 

You don't want to dive straight into sex.  You want to kiss her, hug her, and tell her how beautiful, brilliant, patient, and amazing she is.  When you're out in public together, suddenly slip your arm around her or your hand in her back pocket.  Whisper in her ear, "the guy was checking out your butt", while pointing to a fairly attractive, slightly younger man.  If she thinks other men find her attractive, you'll boost her confidence.  Put your hands on her sensually, but not sexually often.  That means don't pinch her ass or maul her tits. Don't dive right after the goodies.  You want her to feel like a goddess, not your toy. 

While you're hugging, kissing, and complimenting your amazing woman, listen to her.  She'll probably drop hints about the restaraunt she wants to eat at or what she wants for Valentine's Day.  Cookware or other things for the house are NOT gifts.  Don't even think about it!  Instead, buy her three gifts:  something that fits her personality, but also says she is a person aside from you and your family (a book by her favorite author, the bracelet she's been eyeing for a while), something to make her laugh meaning you in one of those silly Valentine's Day thongs, and something to make her feel sexy.  If you have a woman that is very confident and comfortable in ehr own skin, go skimpy on the lingerie.  If your woman is a bit more bashful about things like this, buy her romantic lingerie that covers more of her body.  Don't be sad.  You can work your way up to the sexy, skimpy things!

Flowers are always a requirement, unless she's highly allergic.  Buy her a dozen real roses and one silk.  On the card write: "I'll love you until the last rose dies".  Since the last rose is silk, that means forever.  She'll find you romantic and brilliant.  If you can spring for dinner and a hotel, do so.  Ask the front desk to sprinkle rose petals on and around the bed.  Be sure to have champagne and strawberries waiting for you.  If you can sneak away, check into your room before you take her to dinner so you don't have to interrupt the festivities.  Leave the lingerie on the bed (in a box tied with a ribbon).  

If your Valentine's Day is going to be enjoyed at home, find somewhere to send the kids.  Cook her favorite meal or order nice take out. By take out, I don't mean burgers or pizza.  Make your bed with fresh sheets and sprinkle your own rose petals on and around the bed.

Over dinner keep the conversation light.  Remind her of funny things the two of you did together in your past.  She'll feel younger and more adventurous remembering the woman she was then.  Tell her tasteful jokes to keep her laughing.  The more a woman laughs, the more fun she'll have in bed.  Sex should never be taken too seriously.  Before you finish your dessert, excuse yourself.  Go to the bedroom and light candles, placing them around the room.  Place a bottle of Chocolate Decadence Edible Massage Oil by the bed.  

When you've finished dessert, lead her into the bedroom.  Give her the box with the lingerie inside, telling her you'll give her a massage after she slips into soemthing a little more comfortable.  When she comes out be sure to smile, lick your lips, suck in some air and tell her how amazing she looks.  Lead her to the bed, lay her down, kiss her, then warm the oil in your hands before you start stroking her body with it.  Guys, remember not to use too much oil.  She doesn't want to feel like a greased pig.  The oil should be able to be completely rubbed into her skin. 

If you don't usually give massages, pick up a book or DVD before hand.  After you've given her a bit of a massage, start following your hands with your mouth.  Begin with little kisses, then a little taste.  Work your way down to her thighs.  Kiss her thighs, lick them, but don't go straight for the treasure.  Kiss one thigh then breathe hissing a little "ahhh" as you cross over her pussy, then kiss the other thigh.  Pause in the middle, admire her pussy then move on.  Tease her, but don't go straight after it.  Once you've massaged, licked, and kissed all of her you can have your treat.  

I'm sure you can take it from there.  My last word of advice before you rush out and get read to get some is, don't try anything you haven't done before.  The point is to pleasure her and worship her while you get off.  You don't want to throw anal or anything else she hasn't tried in there.  You'll take the focus off her and you'll probably end up jacking off in the bathroom while you yell out apologies she's inevitably going to ignore.  Good luck!  

Monday, February 8, 2010

All Strung Out

Bondage, unfortunately, tends to be a dirty word in most relationships.  Most couples are afraid of giving up all control to their partner.  When a person thinks of bondage they usually think of some woman in leather tying them up, ball gag and all.  Bondage doesn't have to be this extreme and it doesn't have to be a scary experience.  If you trust him or her to care for you in other areas of your life, trusting them in the bedroom shouldn't be a far stretch.  Bondage can be a liberating experience whether you're usually in control or a little more meek. 

If you've never experienced bondage before there are lots of books out there to help you on your path to satisfaction.  Among my favorites is Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes.  This book shows you everything from the various knots you can tie to different forms of bondage you can explore.  The bondage experience can be as hardcore or sensual as you like.

My first bondage experience was on my best friend's livingroom floor.  She used silk scarves to blindfold me then tie my wrists and ankles to various pieces of furniture, leaving me spread-eagle and open for anything.  Several men and women present then touched me, kissed me, licked my dripping wet pussy, and explored my body.  I had no idea who was sucking my nipples or who had their fingers up me making me cum again and again.  When they were done teasing and tantalizing me, my boyfriend (at the time) flipped me over, grabbed my hair and fucked me doggy-style while everyone watched. 

Few first-time bondage experiences are quite like this, but they can be just as pleasurable.  I advocate using silk ropes for the inexperienced because they don't leave marks and are easier to wriggle out of.  Always use a code word with your partner that wouldn't normally be heard during sex, like "walrus".  When the code word is spoken, everything stops, regardless of how into it you are or how close to orgasm.  Set your ground rules before you head to the bedroom.  Is there an offlimits area?  Are you allowed to bring others into the bedroom?  Do you enjoy a little spanking or is that something you would rather build up to?  Make sure the rules are clear.

When you have your ground rules down and your code word set, anything goes.  Release your inhibitions and let go of all control.  If you're in charge, tease your partner.  Blindfold them so they don't know what is coming next.  Try out new toys.  Bring them right to the edge, then cool it down.  Trace ice over their body and follow it with your mouth.  Be creative. 

As you both learn more and become more comfortable with bondage in the bedroom, try new things.  Anal could be something fun to incorporate, but should be explored before you mix it with bondage.  Both are more difficult sexual techniques to use so that you can get used to it first. 

If you're interested in adding another person to the experience, be sure your partner is actually willing first.  You should never feel pressured to try anything you don't want to do, nor should you pressure anyone else.  Sex should be liberating and pleasurable, not intimidating and frightening. 

Now that you have the basics get in the bedroom and liven things up.  Don't forget to tell all of my horny sluts here how your first bondage experience went!